I am eight years old again. Tonight, December 28, 2016, I am listening to KISS’s 1977 Love Gun while reading my 1978-79 Conan the Barbarian comic books. I am returned to my bedroom in Decatur, Mississippi, and hear Ace sing “Shock Me” on my Realistic turntable through my shitty Hitachi receiver and shittier Realistic bookshelf speakers. I am sitting on the floor by the heater vent reading of Conan’s exploit with a white-haired witch from the North country with large breasts bulging from an iron bra. I take a break and stare into the fantasy art of Ken Kelly’s Love Gun cover. I want to be Space Ace; the Demon scares the living hell out of me; and the Star Child makes my penis feel even smaller. I’m warm and cozy. Jimmy Carter is president and there ain’t shit on ABC, NBC, or CBS on a Friday night.